Your child is eligible to become Bar/Bat Mitzvah on or after his/her thirteenth birthday, according to the secular calendar. Although most families choose to celebrate this occasion publicly at a service in the Temple, it is not mandatary to do so. Some families choose to mark this step in their child’s Jewish education with a trip to Israel and a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony there. How and where you celebrate this milestone is up to each individual family; the Rabbis or Cantor will be happy to discuss this with you and assist you with your preparations.
In order to begin tutoring for Bar/Bat Mitzvah, each child must have successfully completed four years of Hebrew study, must be attending religious school and must continue in religious school through eighth grade.
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FINANCIAL
In addition to the normal yearly fees of dues, religious school, capital assessment and, where applicable, Building Fund, you should anticipate the following expenses:
Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee, which is set annually by the congregation. This one-time fee is inclusive; there are no further fees for regular Bar/Bat Mitzvah instruction, custodial services or other Temple support. This fee is billed the fiscal year following the one in which you receive your date assignment. Fees for an extended Kiddush, or building rental are additional and are billed during the fiscal year in which your simcha occurs. You must be current in all financial obligations at least six weeks prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.
Additional expenses you may incur:
Extended Kiddush (a simple Kiddush of wine and challah is provided by the congregation.)
Oneg Shabbat - when Bar/Bat Mitzvah takes place on Erev Shabbat, or if you wish to participate in the sponsorship of the Oneg Shabbat on the Erev Shabbat prior to the Shabbat service
Kippot (if being personalized)
Fee for use of Social Hall and kitchen for private reception
Contributions to a Temple fund in honor of the occasion
USHERING
To assure that your family and friends feel welcome and to give each family the opportunity to help another family, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family is expected to serve as ushers at two or three Bar/Bat Mitzvah services, at least one to be completed prior to your child's becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Ushers are expected to greet worshipers, seat latecomers and maintain decorum during the service. Following the service, they collect books; pass out wine, white grape juice and challah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Kiddush Committee contacts you several months before your simcha to attend a meeting at which your responsibilities are explained in detail and dates for helping will be selected.
KIDDUSH AND REFRESHMENTS A simple Kiddush consisting of wine (white grape juice for children) and challah for all those attending the service is provided by the congregation for both Shabbat morning and Shabbat afternoon services. Pastries, coffee, tea, punch or a simple buffet luncheon (extended Kiddush) are optional. The family of an Erev Shabbat Bar/Bat Mitzvah is expected to provide the traditional Friday evening Oneg Shabbat for the congregation; wine, challah, punch, coffee and pastries are the minimum requirements.
All private functions, including extended Kiddushim, luncheons, or dinners, must be scheduled in advance through the Temple office. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families who are sharing a date must confer with each other to insure equitable use of Temple facilities. If both families elect to have a simple Kiddush following the service, it must be held jointly. If both families desire an extended Kiddush, it can be shared or held separately. All questions concerning scheduling of Temple facilities should be directed to the Temple Administrator.
MAZON
Temple Beth Ami is committed to the work of MAZON, a Jewish response to hunger worldwide. It is suggested that 3% of everything spent on food for your simcha be donated to MAZON. Table cards, donation envelopes and additional information are available in the office.
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