February 05, 2012   12 Sh'vat 5772

Temple Beth Ami, Rockville, MD

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B'nai Mitzvah

Bar/Bat Mitzvah  

 

Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a joyous milestone on your child's journey to Jewish adulthood. Bar/Bat Mitzvah recognizes the achievement of a degree of proficiency in Hebrew and your child's ability to lead the congregation in worship. At Temple Beth Ami, we emphasize the importance of Jewish learning at all ages, and encourage all children to continue formal Jewish education through Confirmation, high school and beyond.  Our children learn that they are each a vital link in an unbroken chain of Jewish men and women who have studied and cherished the Torah, who understand the wealth of our Jewish heritage, and who recognize the deep spiritual signifcance of ascending to the reading and blessing of the Torah 

All children become "sons and daughters of the commandment" upon turning thirteen.  AT Temple Beth  Ami, our children are eligible to be called to the Torah as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah on or after his/her thirteenth birthday, according to the secular calendar.  Although most families choose to celebrate this occasion publicly at a service in the Temple, it is not mandatary to do so.  Some families choose to mark this step in their child’s Jewish education with a trip to Israel and a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony there.  How and where you celebrate this milestone is up to each individual family; the Rabbis or Cantor will be happy to discuss this with you and assist you with your preparations.

In order to begin tutoring for Bar/Bat Mitzvah, each child must have successfully completed four years of Hebrew study, must be attending religious school and must continue in religious school through eighth grade.

B'nai Mitzvah Guide  


The purpose of our B'nai Mitzvah guide is to describe and explain the philosophy and policies related to the celebration of Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth Ami. It is suggested that you read this guide carefully because it will answer many of the questions you may have.

A child is eligible to become Bar/Bat Mitzvah on or after his/her thirteenth birthday, according to the secular calendar. Although most families choose to celebrate this occasion publicly at a service in the Temple, it is not mandatary to do so. Some families choose to mark this step in their child’s Jewish education with a trip to Israel and a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony there. How and where you celebrate this milestone is up to each individual family; the Rabbis or Cantor will be happy to discuss this with you and assist you with your preparations.

In order to begin tutoring for Bar/Bat Mitzvah, each child must have successfully completed four years of Hebrew study, must be attending religious school and must continue in religious school through eighth grade.

It is the responsibility and pleasure of the Temple staff, clergy, tutors, and volunteers to help you with your preparation in whatever way they can. If you have questions or suggestions, please feel free to contact the Temple for assistance.

Guide to Family Obligations  

USHERING
One of the many joys of your child becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth Ami is the opportunity to usher for another family when their child is called to the Torah.  Ushering enables each family to help another family, and assures that your family and friends will be made to feel welcome and supported. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family is expected to serve as ushers at two or three Bar/Bat Mitzvah services, completed prior to your child's becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah (in addition to helping another Temple family, this gives you the opportunity to observe the service in advance of your service). Ushers are expected to greet worshipers, seat and assist latecomers and maintain decorum during the service. Following the service, they collect books; pass out wine, white grape juice and challah. Dates are assigned and you may switch with another family (you are aksed to notify the office of any changes).  At least one adult and one post Bar/Bat Mitzvah child is expected to attend. You will be reminded in advance of your ushering date.  Ushering is so very important and we count of everyone to participate.

KIDDUSH AND REFRESHMENTS A simple Kiddush consisting of wine (white grape juice for children) and challah for all those attending the service is provided by the congregation for both Shabbat morning and Shabbat afternoon services. Pastries, coffee, tea, punch or a simple buffet luncheon (extended Kiddush) are optional. 

All private functions, including an extended Kiddush, luncheon, or dinner, must be scheduled in advance through the Temple office. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families who are sharing a date must confer with each other to insure equitable use of Temple facilities. If both families elect to have a simple Kiddush following the service, it must be held jointly. If both families desire an extended Kiddush, we encourage you to share but they can be held separately. All questions concerning scheduling of Temple facilities should be directed to the Temple Administrator.

MAZON
Temple Beth Ami is committed to the work of MAZON, a Jewish response to hunger worldwide. It is suggested that 3% of everything spent on food for your simcha be donated to MAZON. Table cards, donation envelopes and additional information are available in the office.

FINANCIAL
In addition to your normal yearly financial commitment, you should anticipate the following expenses:

Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee, which is set annually by the congregation. This one-time fee is inclusive; there are no further fees for regular Bar/Bat Mitzvah instruction/tutoring, custodial services, simple kiddush or other Temple support. This fee is billed the fiscal year following the one in which you receive your date assignment. Fees for an extended Kiddush, or building rental are additional and are billed during the fiscal year in which your simcha occurs. You must be current in all financial obligations at least six weeks prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.

Additional expenses you may incur:
Extended Kiddush (a simple Kiddush of wine and challah is provided by the congregation.) 
Oneg Shabbat - you may wish to participate in the sponsorship of the Oneg Shabbat in honor of your child (grandchild) on the Erev Shabbat prior to the Shabbat service
Kippot (if being personalized)
Fee for use of Social Hall and kitchen for private reception
Contributions to a Temple fund in honor of the occasion

 

Opportunity to Chant the Congregational Aliyah  

 

June 2006

Dear Bar and Bat Mitzvah Families,

 

We hope this letter finds you enjoying the summer and anticipating your child becoming bar or bat mitzvah in the months ahead.  We are looking forward to sharing this simcha with you and are writing to alert you to a newly established ritual policy for our congregation of which you might want to take advantage.

 

After a period of examination and discussion, the Religious Practices Committee, with the guidance of the Rabbis and Cantor, has voted to establish a Congregational Aliyah at each service during which Torah is read.  This new guideline, endorsed by the Board of Directors, extends to Shabbat Morning and Shabbat Afternoon services in our Sanctuary a custom of the congregation that has long been part of our High Holyday  and Festival celebrations as well as in the Shabbat Morning  Chapel Service.

 

In practice, this means that at each Shabbat service when Torah is read, including those at which children become bar or bat mitzvah, an additional aliyah (3 verse Torah reading with the accompanying blessings) will be added to the service following the congregation’s prayer for healing.  The opportunity to chant these verses will be offered to any properly trained and prepared member of the congregation.  In the event that there is no volunteer from the congregation, one of the clergy will chant these verses.  The blessings accompanying this aliyah will be typically chanted by the entire congregation.

 

As a courtesy … and an encouragement … the opportunity to prepare and chant the verses of the Congregational Aliyah is offered first to our bar/bat mitzvah families.  Any one Jewish adult member of the family who is a member of Temple Beth Ami may volunteer.  If there is a member from each of two families, they will both chant three (3) verses. 

 

Please consider this letter not only as information, but as an invitation to participate.  While making your decision, please keep the following established guidelines in mind: 

-- The privilege of chanting the Congregational Aliyah is extended to Temple Beth Ami members, only.

 

-- Any congregant volunteering for this privilege must prepare in a manner identical to that required of our b’nai mitzvah:   the portion is to be chanted according to the system of troupe, the participant must attend a scheduled troupe class with the Cantor, or at their own expense engaged one of the Temple’s bar/bat mitzvah tutors for instruction.  Tapes or CD’s will not be provided.

 

--Families must notify the Cantor not later that their child’s first Torah review if they will volunteer to chant the Congregational Aliyah.  At that time, the volunteer from the family must display a basic level of Hebrew reading skill. 

 

--If the bar/bat mitzvah families have not indicated their commitment to prepare the Congregation Aliyah by the first Torah review, the privilege will pass to other members of the congregation who have volunteered.

 

-- Congregant family members must prepare in the same manner and to the same level of excellence expected of our b’nai mitzvah and must show themselves to be proficient at their child’s first bima rehersal (approximately 5 weeks before the bar/bat mitzvah date).

 

-- If the family member is not proficient, the privilege is relinquished and the responsibility passes to other volunteers from the Temple membership or to the clergy.

 

--On occasion, the Congregational Aliyah may be used to acknowledge events in the life of the Temple community such as the birth of children, upcoming weddings or other congregational milestones.  

 

The Congregational Aliyah will be included in our services beginning in August of 2006. Families with August b’nai mitzvah and who are interested in preparing the Congregational Aliyah must contact Cantor Eschler not later than June 1st.   Clergy will be available all during the summer to help adult members of the congregation prepare to chant the Congregational Aliyah.

 

The inclusion of this additional short aliyah will give the entire congregation an opportunity to participate in the Torah reading, will provide opportunities for our many trained Torah chanters to exercise their skills, and will encourage others to pursue additional Jewish learning in order to chant Torah for the congregation.  We hope you will give consideration to this new opportunity for adult learning and for participation in the Torah readings at our Shabbat Morning and Shabbat Afternoon Services.

 

If you have any questions regarding this new practice or would like to accept or decline the opportunity, please contact our Rabbis or Cantor.

 

With our best wishes for a healthy summer and a joyous simcha!

B'nai Mitzvah Information  
B'nai Mitzvah  
Mitzvah Projects  
B'nai Mitzvah Chronology - A Quick Guide  
  • November (for Jan - July B'nai Mitzvah dates) or June (for Aug - Dec dates) prior to your date: Ushering Meeting
  • 7 - 9 months before: Parents’ meeting with Cantor to receive Torah/Haftorah portion & tutor assignment and tutoring
  • 5 - 6 months before: Meet with Senior Rabbi to discuss significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service, Torah/Haftorah speech, and to begin process of preparing personal remarks
  • 3 - 4 months before: Observe a Shabbat Morning Service; meet before with Assistant Rabbi to discuss service structure and honors
    Clergy Assistant will be calling you to schedule:
    • ½ hour appts with Assistant Rabbi to prepare Torah/Haftarah speeche
    • ½ hour appts with Senior Rabbi to review the personal speech
    • ½ hour appt with Cantor for tutoring check-up
    • Rehearsals in Chapel and Sanctuary with Cantor and Rabbis
    • Hour meeting with family to review content of service
    • Final rehearsal in Sanctuary with either Rabbi during week of Bar/Bat Mitzvah
  • 2 months before: Newsletter and certificate information forms returned to office
  • 1 week before: All forms with final guest count, service instructions, and arrangements handed in to office

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